Ladies and Gentlemen, the flight is delayed.. obviously

My first flight journey was a disaster. I fell ill in Hyderabad and my roomies booked me a flight ticket in Indian Airlines. Leaving aside the patriotic feeling of flying in the 'national' carrier, I walked into the plane with lots and lots of expectations. You see, I've never flown before and the expectations of watching an air hostess live in action was keeping my enthu level high, despite all the drowsy medicines. And what do I get? An old woman, without an iota of smile in her face, greeting me with a reluctant Namasthe! I almost slapped my forehead, cursing my friend for booking the IA flight and spoiling my first memories of flying.

The first time you fly, you are in to some cultural and economic shock. Fellow passengers are not warm as they are in local passenger trains you had usually traveled. Every one looks serious and create an aura that they are all more important than you are. The food is so expensive that you when you ask for price, you feel like you are in some luxury store (once you know the price, you sheepishly walk away). You don't understand the difference between cabin baggage and check-in baggage, because you do not know that checking in yourself and checking in your baggage are two different things! Ah, the ignorance!

You can easily identify first time fliers from the rest. They judiciously listen to the instructions, fiddle around with their seat belts before securing them tight enough that their belly pops out, switch off the mobile phones immediately once the announcement is made. Once the flight starts, they keep looking on either side with childish interest how the city looks from up above. And they get really worried  when the flight runs into some turbulence!

The experienced flyers' are another story. I never understood why people immediately stand up when the plane comes to a stop. They all start opening the overhead lockers fishing for their bags, calling up people that they have landed and create the impression that the whole world depends on these set of people to alight from the airplane! And they just stand there in awkward position, for quite some time, with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Just stand. It's so stupid because, you know you can't move out of the plane unless the aerobridge is attached and you can't do much unless the people in front of you move out. Why don't they just sit and relax for 10 more mins until the door is opened and then move out?

The airlines sound ridiculous sometimes. "The flight has been delayed due to the late arrival of the incoming flight". Hello!, this is the lamest excuse you can give for flight delays. You sound as they some one else has taken your plane for a ride and they haven't got it back in time. Boss, it's your flight. You own it. And your people fly it!  If that's delayed, you've screwed up somewhere during the day. Accept it.  We'll heartily take the announcement "Your flight has been delayed" and more preferably - "Your flight has been delayed because we..er.. screwed up" for an excuse.

P.S: My most dramatic moment in flying happened while boarding the Emirates from Dubai to New York. I was flying business class - courtesy my job . It is that moment when they announce that business class passengers should board first, you walk with your head held high almost doing Reservoir Dogs walk amidst the jealous glances of the economy passengers. However class-oriented that may sound, you do feel special! That never happened again in my life though :( If it happens again, I'll do the wave!