Movie Review : Kites - Flies too low

Remember those days in your chemistry lab where you are trying to identify the composition of a salt? You’ll mix the unknown salt with a few more chemicals and then wait for something to happen. While you are in the process of mixing, you’ll be hoping that something would definitely happen. But you’ll end up scratching your head when you just see a fizz that dies down in a second. That’s exactly what happens to the much hyped on-screen chemistry between Hrithik and Barabara Mori in Kites, the movie in my opinion is just a marketing festival rather than anything to do with movie making.

Story in short: Hrithik teaches dance for a living in Las Vegas, but he also engages in fake marriages to get visa for women. Kangana plays a psycho (yet again!) and falls for Hrithik. But Hrithik pretends to love her when he knows that she is a daughter of rich casino owner. When Hrithik goes to her brother’s wedding, he sees Barbara, who is about to marry Kangana’s brother. Hrithik and Barbara fall in love and elope only to be chased incessantly by Kangana’s family and American police. They get married in Mexico and then die (oh, sorry should have put a spoiler warning before!). Sounds interesting right? Well, the movie isn’t.

Hrithik falls in love after seeing Barbara in bikini. How romantic! How exactly Barbara falls in love with Hrithik is a mystery taken to the grave. Is it during the time when Hrithik shows her how to make interesting shadows with your hands or is it when he talks about his mother leaving him? Tough to answer! Then they elope and you are thankfully given a break in the form of intermission. You realize that the movie couldn’t get worse and you decide to stay on. The second half is slightly better with a handful of car chases on empty American roads and some silly American cops chasing them forever. The couple enters Mexico and gets married. Happiness is short lived and they are chased again. Hrithik is shot and Barbara saves him before she commits suicide. Hrithik takes revenge and he dies too. Tears? May be if you are happy enough that the movie has ended.

Trivia: There is this one scene when Barbara sends a SMS to Hrithik that she is going away. If only she had updated here Facebook status or tweeted, we could have left the theater early; the Mexican dance between Hrithik and Barbara never happens contrary to the posters and promos – disappointing; the final shooting scene is a plain rip-off of the famous scene from Road to Perdition (2002); and btw, this is not a Hindi movie - it’s English and Spanish; Barbara Mori is surely hot, but fails to sizzle on the screen;

Originally I went to the theater to see Shrek 3D, but found that the tickets were exorbitantly priced for Rs.350 & Rs.500 (Oh! Mumbai!) and decided I’d give Kites a chance instead only because of the director - Anurag Basu, who has Gangster and an impressive Life in a Metro to his credit. I normally don’t watch Bollywood movies without reading the reviews and this habit is going to be practiced with much more discipline going forward.