The Art of Flirting - lessons never learnt

From my previous post, it would have been a no brainer to guess my relationship status. A famous quote goes like this

“Tell me who your friends are. I will tell you who you are”

This stands true for most of the qualities/abilities in your friends. It is quite natural to be influenced by others . This post is especially dedicated to all my friends who are single (which is everyone). I’ll tell you their astounding relationship history and you can take a call on why I’m the way I’m.

Let’s start with our beloved G. G's smile stretches a mile and his flirting skills ends pretty much there. He sometimes keeps this pathetic face so as to give an innocent look. Sometimes works on gals. But, his flirting skills somehow have the knack of getting him into extremely complex relationships. He reports every small incident that he has with a girl as though it meant something. K always gets excited at whatever G reports.

Now let’s see K and Q, the people with whom I’ve spent most of my time in the last 5 years. The less said about K’s flirting skills, the better. I was subject 3 years of torture of discussions of a particular girl - ‘She said this. She said that. She did this. She did that! She sneezed. She coughed!’. Phew! G is now the poor soul to endure that.

Q doesn’t flirt because he doesn’t believe in it. Nor does he believe in ‘sight adichifying’ (ogling in other words). However, the latest news from Nike is that he has fallen heads down for a girl and she invited him for a date only to find out that she had invited some other guy as well! Pchoo. Come on Q! You can beat the other guy if not by your muscles, then by your brain!

M’s flirting skills work only against a family of girls. I’m pretty sure that M can go a long way if he develops skills on his direction sense and map reading. He is literally lost most of the times and this wouldn’t have gone well with the girl he is travelling with. He always ends up saying – ‘It is just here.. somewhere.. I think..’.

I’ve got no idea on Nike’s skills. He tries to keeps everything a secret and probably his flirting skills are somewhere buried among his several unexposed talents. May his opening lines are in his trademark Madras Tamil that drives the girls away.

‘Queen of Java’ – No comments on married people. Sorry.

Now onto ‘Moon. Jr’. He is my favorite. Sincerely talks about a girl only to be told by the same girl that she has a boyfriend. His heartbreaks are loud and always received with a laugh. A simple ‘Hi’ sets his hormones at full flow and he is immediately off to an exotic location for a duet. His flirting skills are obviously not working or he is trying them on the wrong person.

‘Moon Sr.’ – Sema Comedy sir Neenga! (translates to ‘You are an absolute comedy’). That's it!

S is the only exception in my group. I can build a data warehouse on her EXs, build multidimensional cubes and pullout some cool looking graphs on all her previous relationships. One can slice and dice the data on several demographics of her boyfriends and can build summary graphs for every year, quarter, and month and perform some trend analysis. Every time I call her, which is not infrequent by the way, she keeps saying ‘I was seeing somebody, but it didn’t work out’. I pity the guy who is going to be her chosen one.

No you know what kind of people who I’ve associated myself during the last 8 years :) . However, these friends of mine are the best in every aspect and it is worth sacrificing any number of girl friends for them!

PS : Dellis can’t flirt. It is a genetic issue.